my brain seem not be working properly right now. i felt dizzy most of the time. prolly due to the excessive sleeping. sheesh. my days are boring. hoping to receive a call from gv. hoping very hard.

in the mean time, anyone wanna watch the tattooist with me? perhaps anyone above 16? cause obviously, i cant be the one who is buying the tickets since it is nc16 show. issit? im confused.
-_______-

ineedsomeone

i'm pretty mad at myself because the job searching i had planned for today got cancelled due to excessive sleepiness from myself. one of my myspace friend gave me some info about golden village needing part time worker. i'm pretty up for it since she told me that they didnt mind about fifteen years old. i've been thinking about getting a job at cinemas till i'd scripted out a line just incase if they mind about me being fifteen. "don't mind sir, honestly..do you think i look like a fifteen year old?" *giggles*

i just spent time with my friends, as an antipode to focused lonliness. loneliness of longing for a companionship. people says single life is freedom, joy and spontaneous. well thats true. but sometimes, i feel as though something is missing, or maybe someone. i see myself as a weakling. i need someone to support me and love me. speaking of love. being in love is the greatest feeling you've ever had, yeah? to think again, love can be boring. but still, you feel as though it completes you. thats how i feel. but not now. i'm incomplete.

mood: discontent
listen: flux - bloc party

i gotta admit that this holiday is really boring. work? nahh.. if i could find a better working job than fast food restaurant for my age, i would love to work. choosy, i know. i seriously need help in making my holidays much more interesting. i got nothing to do each day. i just couldnt wait for the day where my family would go overseas and what more, enjoy of course.
seriously, my life is b o r i n g currently.
pfft.

mood: bored
listen: yesterday - the beatles

isn't this the most adorable thing ever exist in this world. i could daze onto this picture for hours without even getting bored of it. Darwish Raizin, my nephew.

so yeah, i didnt went out the whole day. cause i spent half of the day sleeping. talk on the phone with zul doherty the whole of last night. well that prolly explain why i am so sleepy the whole day today.

plans for tonight? on the phone with zul doherty again.

nites =)

mood: dreamy
listen: 2 hearts - kylie minogue


Viva's performance at Redbar today was out of this world. superb. splendid! i really wanna thank god for giving them a technical fault before their performance since that actually give me more time to reach Redbar and see their performance. HAHA. and so, i reach there in time during their first song. a big phew to that! their originals were excellent. i love it. if they were to make a recording out of it, i would be the first to put in my walkman phone and listen to it 24/7. HAHA. whatever it is, i'll cheer for them no matter what. i just hope they could work hard and finally put a show during baybeats. perhaps, that will be the beginning of their real music life.

after their performance, we head to kampung glam cafe and had our lunch/dinner there. and then to esp and raffles. by then, all of us are dead beat. all of them went home with a gloomy face. except for me! i went all smiling away while walking home. why? that's a secret.
^^v

mood: sleepy

listen: vision of heaven - bloc party

finally the day has come for Viva to finally perform live. Can't wait for the performance.

update you guys soon!

mood: dreamy
listen: betapa aku mencintaimu - vagetoz

as u can clearly see. its 22 november today. it would already be our 3rd month if its not because of you. on this day, people would see us holding hands, trying to run away from each other to avoid being pinched, laughing out loud and even kissing each other. how i wish this would really happen. to think that i already move on happily, i was wrong. the beeping of the phone alarmed me and reminded me with a simple note "3rd month with Fir ♥ !". i was grooving away with the song by the frail when i immediately dazed onto the phone upon seeing the reminder. i just sent you a sms. i doubt you would reply me. i doubt you will feel sad or whatever about this. i know you had move on. you move on so easily without a spare thought about how i'd feel. thanks. i hate you.

mood: crappy
listen: dr suzanne mattox phd - the wombats

i'm feelingless. very dreamy. very indeed. i hate being out of love. i wanna be in love.
i think i'm in love now. with someone very unexpected.
but somehow i think its a one side love. OF COURSE!
SYOK SENDIRI is the word.
gee.
still. i think i love that *****! ^^v

mood: content

listen: count on this - the frail

it is nearly 6am and i've yet to go to sleep. seriously, its hard for me to sleep in the night now and be awake during the day. ugh. burung hantu! okay today, followed Viva to jam at chinese garden there. Viva gayrek. i couldnt wait to finally watch them perform live this saturday at Red Bar. will support them all the way, baby! ^^v

mood: still sick
listen: so sorry - feist

the cold has yet to recover. i feel like cutting off my nose. and someone would video record it and then name it Saw V. haha. ok shut. that is totally random. pfft.
somehow i feel so useless now. my mind is so blank. i cant think of anything. like seriously nothing.

BLANK

mood: sick

listen: crank dat soulja boy - soulja boy

this is really a bad time to catch a cold. the weather itself is already cold. gee. i feel soooo sick. ugh. every moment when i think of you, i would get a headache and i'll for sure switch to moody mode. i guess it's really a no use to go on begging from a heartless person like you. i supposed my presence from the start had given you hell for you and your family. thanks to that someone, he made me realised for sure this time although alot of others had said to ignore him since he doesnt care for me at all. you even stupidly said to treat this as though you cheated me just to get me away from you. how stupid can you be. since the beginning you had never used your brain to think thoroughly before doing or saying anything. thats why you get yourself into this state. this maybe weird, i still love you though.

okay enough of the moody2 part.

the whole of today went to east coast to celebrate nadia birthday. gosh, i pity her to get bash so roughly. with eggs, flour and even her own birthday cake smashed onto her face. the good thing is, she seemed to be enjoying it and expecting it even! haha. like finally i managed to recover my craving for bbq chicken. the oh-so delicious taste. heaven! overall, i had fun with my schmates.

:D

birthday girl rabs skali man!

mood: blank

listen: the best i've ever had - vertical horizon

the image of your face with that oh-so adorable smile of yours had been captured and stored inside my mind. how i wish i could see you smiling like that again, laughing to your own lame jokes and i just stood still looking at your charming face. you still insist on rejecting my calls. it's really a heartbreak to see you acting this way. you are certainly not that bad and timid till you cant even answer a call from me. i'll wait for you no matter how stupid this decision is.

i love you still.

mood: discontent
listen: its not over - secondhand serenade

i still couldnt accept the fact that it is over. i thought i cried enough for you. but still i couldnt stop. i dreamt of you. i think about you. i dazed all night about it. damnit. i called you alot of times, you refused to anwer and even reject. im not being desperate. i just wanna hear your own voice. your voice saying those harsh words. its a shame of you to end this with a message.
tell me you dont dare to say those words right towards me.
tell me you dont really mean all those words that you sent.
tell me you want me back.
tell me you want me to be there beside you.
tell me you wanna watch the sunset together.
tell me you wanna kiss me.
tell me you wanna hug me.
tell me you love me.

"My tears run down like razorblades

And no, I'm not the one to blame

It's you ' or is it me?

And all the words we never say

Come out and now we're all ashamed

And there's no sense in playing games

When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?

We had the chance to make it

Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over

I wish that I could take it back

But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights

I lose my sense of wrong and right

I cry, I cry

It's shaking from the pain that's in my head

I just wanna crawl into my bed

And throw away the life I led

But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?

We had the chance to make it

Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over

I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart

Don't say this won't last forever

You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart

Don't tell me that we will never be together

We could be, over and over

We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart

Don't say this won't last forever

You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart

Don't tell me that we will never be together

We could be, over and over

We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over

Unless you let it take you

It's not over, it's not over, it's not over

Unless you let it break you

It's not over"

mood: grieved
listen: real love - massari

i just couldnt figure out why does it seems so easy for you to say goodbye just like that. I wonder..have you been waiting for this day? i just cant believe that this day actually exist. i kept wondering non-stop. reasons such as family problems seem to be unreasonable to me. cause obviously you do know that being together supposedly meant to be supporting and helping each other. i could support you. i could help you. what for i spent my times worrying for you like fuck when you didnt came home last weekend. all that worrying had gone wasted since you dont seem to be fucking care about it at all. you do know that your family problems is so heavy that you yourself cant handle it what more for me. how come i can still tolerate you and your problems and still be there for you? if i were to follow my heart, i would long to be apart from you. but why i didnt? simply i love you. thats all. seems that you dont. i know, i'm partly at fault too for going out with other of my guyfriends when you already forbid me too. but you know that they are just friends[i mean it!] and i'm stubborn right? i know my limits and im not that really stupid okay. how come you cant tolerate with that? i'm willing to help you with your heavy problems but you just dont want me to. and easily asked me to just ignore you and find other persons to entertain me? seriously i find it stupid. you make me hate you. really.
all those sweet memories with you. the times we shared. it ended with a simple message just like that?

im just speechless.
i had no idea whether to be sad or just be okay about it.
i had no idea whether to cry or not but i cried enough.
speechless.
really.
:(

mood: calm
listen: you and i both - jason mraz

everything's fine now. im glad. im relax and calm. just get this straight, don't think because of that stupid incident i'd leave you. no. absolutely not. im there for you okay.

i've been sleeping very late and waking up late lately. perhaps its the cause of my addiction on seeing chinese dramas such as,meteor garden, online. so yeap.
bye now. busy watching meteor garden again.
:D

mood: pissed-off
listen: fight-west grand boulevard

boyfriend had totally disappoint me today. im really pissed with him. he almost got me in trouble with the police. his family almost detest me. and again he lied. he lied! how can you steal something that is not yours and then give it to somebody and telling him/her that you bought it with your own money. that is foolish my dear! your sister send me a msg using '!!!' to me as though it was really my fault when it is clearly not mine. you even dare to do such things that your mom really dislike. what a DISAPPOINTMENT!

mood: content
listen: shadow of the day - linkin park

this picture is totally minah-ish.

went out as late as 9. couldn't take the boredom at home and so decided to go out to take fresh air.haha. met faten the bachen. no other choices but to stick with her and her butch friends. it was embarrassing somehow. no offence though. that fucktard, afiq, left me all alone when we actually planned to meet each other. eventually, we met in the train on the way home. before we went our seperates way, i gave a hug to afiq. and suprisingly, his friend [taqim] asked for it too. aha. and i just gave. dani was like "kau rupenye tak tahu malu eh qim"
haha.

boyfriend didnt called all day.
his mum texted me finding for him, but i just ignored.
scared. :S

mood: moody
listen: no one - alicia keys

that close friend of mine generously paid for my top from forever 21 today. i felt bad but he said its okay. a big thanks yeah? period came and not suprised that it was the cause of my moody mood today. i talked less. i just kept quiet and mind my own business most of the time.

met my dearly missed wan,abang and my ex[adek]. it was fun seeing them again after for so long they had gone missing in action. but it was kinda dull cause i cant get myself up to be as talkative as i always do.

everything is so mundane today. didnt go anywhere. rot at home all day. problems with love.ergh.
why do i feel so ERGH today.
pfft.

exhausted. wear out. all those runnings had consume almost three quater of my energy. 6 laps of running/walking/jogging doesnt seem to reach my expectation. the target was 10. but damnit, i couldnt take it anymore. small sis finish the most laps. 10 rounds i supposed. sheesh. while big sis, spent most of her 5 rounds walking. im not suprised. we three, planned to make this thing a daily routine for every evening. so yeap, hope it works because we really do wanna lose some FATS.

:D

i just can't accept the fact that u refused to pick up my call just because you don't feel like it? i call you like a thousand times and you ignored it just like that? wth.are you a person? you could at least text me and tell me that you don't feel like talking.but then you just sit there and do nothing and let your phone vibrate around. like gees. perhaps i should replace 'close friend' with 'FOE'.

pfft.

sorry but i had to write this as short as possible.supposedly to head to aunt house now but decided to blog about today first.so its like finally i met my nonsensical darlings, syai and farah.although it was for awhile, i had fun.went to had our lunch at KFC.then head home.i love both of them! ^^

i'm astonished by mum's sudden changed of i dont know, behaviour? likings? woke up this morning and saw this bowl of water filled water babies on the table.first thought, i knew it was from one of my siblings.got to know that it was actually my mum's.like woah huh.mum told me she was amazed by aunt's water babies at her house and thought of buying them too.all i know i laughed at mum for her sudden adorable behaviour and i cant stop playing around with those water babies.its fun! but then, it's an imitation of the real water babies.lol

i've yet to touch my books and papers.like oh dear.

tomorrow, planned to meet my nonsensical darling syai and then head to farah's house.it's going to be fun.i miss them oh so much.

boyfriend, where are you? ):

Today is the most boring saturday ever. Except for the part went i met my nonsensical bitches. Still, I would have to say it's a boring saturday.

I miss love as always.
And that close friend suddenly. My bad.

:D

the game plan is a great movie to watch.its hilarious plus touching at the same time.it is mostly about the love of a new father to her unexpected daughter.i recommend you guys to catch it.no regrets.

i met love.i thought it would turn out great but then it turns out kinda sucky due to the family problems we are facing.thank god,we still have fun with each other today.my mind is not working so well.been thinking about his problems all the time.i just cant bear to see him suffer on his own.when will this thing be over.

school was fun today.i love it when i get to sit beside my darling,syai.learnt a new chapter for biology on eye.its easy!for once i could really somehow understand the whole topic.and i changed my mind about dropping that subject.all i know,i'll try very hard this time and improve on biology.rumours has it,they say usually people with knowledge on biology has a bright future!

and dear friend, you mentioned about you feeling in pain everyday and night.are you sure? i didnt mean to make you feel hurt or whatsoever.im just kindly telling you that we can be only friends.what truth? how can i know the truth when you didnt tell me. and then you said you hoping that i know the truth. how?

i seriously had trouble walking to school.the pain is unbearable.thank god, i could tolerate with the pain.school was basically mundane.except for the part when i had fun doing group work with my nonsensical darlings,syai and farah.went to eat with them at banquet,as usual.wani decided to tag along.so yeap.all four of us bought the same dish,beef noodles.i tell you,you should give it a try.its heaven.perhaps,that will be my regular dish everytime i go there.haha.

my dearly goodfren hazy is turning 1 year older today.and so i'd like to wish her a very happy birthday.may god bless you with good life and fortunes.huhu.meet up very very soon la sweet!

i miss you,boyfriend.

:D