just 1 more page till we close the book. goobye two thousand seven and hello two thousand eight. prolly this is the time where you guys make 'new years resolutions'. i cant deny that i do too. new year, new made vows and perhaps a whole new me. put the past to bed. and just move on and enjoy this whole new beginning.
i've quite plan already for this coming two thousand eight. hoping all of those plans will work out. my philosophy for this new year is 'not to uphold the phrase 'no actions talk only''.

oh by the way, i would like to wish a very Happy 15th Birthday to my lovely Fatin the bachen. be good. and yeah i love and miss you so much.

stop the act and cut the crap,dear me. face it, you are lonely. and you need someone. i cant say much since love comes naturally.

but would a kiss be too much too ask?

you have a strong feeling of affection for someone but you didn't do anything about it.and i mean nothing at all because you are too afraid to open up a conversation with him instead you end up giving him picture comments only.but then you are really looking forward for something or maybe a miracle to happen between the two of you and again you didn't do anything about it, not even a saying a simple hi to him but you still insist and keep on dreaming that you want something to happen.that's completely mental.

i've been eyeing on you since like ages.there's one time i really regretted in my whole life when i end up giving my attention to your friends and not to you because i was actually too timid to give you that much attention.at the same time i wished that particular night stay night forever. remember when we get so nervous to kiss each of our cheeks as a forfeit given by your friends and when you gave me that kiss, i flew to the cloud and you went all red. remember when you slowly reached my hand under your cardigan and hold it tight because you were all shy to let your friend see. i wish i could held it till the next morning when we walked to the train station. it is crazy but you never fail to make my heart skip a beat. and yeah sometimes i do think that you're my 'mr.right'

heaven is not so kind to me because i have this stong feeling that your friends somehow in anyway detest me. and i wonder if you do too. prolly cause i'm not pretty or whatever towards you guys. you are the only one that always smiled at me when we bumped into each other. but your friends gave me that arrogant face. i really do feel like going to any beauty salon to get myself a flawless complexion and then to the hair salon to have extensions for myself just to fairly compete with those kind of girls that you guys eyed for and just woo you without any doubts in mind.

i always warned myself not to walk alone at town as fear that i might bumped into you and when you smiled at me as a substitude for your 'hi and bye' to me, i might just passed out that very moment. i could solemnly swear that you have a killer smile. even by looking at your picture, you could make me go weak and as though my joints are all loose. i wonder when i will have the guts to type a simple H,I to you in msn. i know i cant cause for no reason i have this deep pessimsm about it.

no doubt, i always have big smile paste on my face when it comes to you. :)

picture credits to darunia-art.deviantart.com

it was a last minute plan when i head to peninsula to meet wan,nurul and wal. they surprised me when they bought glenns vodka out of the blue. okay, i drank abit cause i dont want anything gross happen to me while in the train back home so yeap. adek came later. i miss him alot. haha. the whole thing were really lazy and fun i guess.

i checked my old number. firdaus's mom is still looking for me. still thinking that im still with him. she sent angry messages as she thought firdaus and me still together and he's still going out with me. i didnt know and expect him to be going out late again. i thought he would stop doing all that since we are over now. thought that you changed for the better. but damn, you didnt? thinking back all those time where i used to advice to stand up for your own right and talk back to your mum and stuff, i had made a real bad mistake. sheesh. im a bad advicer. pfft.
[this paragraph like got many 'still' right? -_-]


day out with eek love tomorrow. happy happy.
but im still wondering where to get the cash.
:S

so much for only had books in mind. i ended up talking on the phone with s for almost 8 hours and then for no particular reason, we decided to go out without even spending at most 2 minutes for our eyes to close. went to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks. i adore the green one. Theodore! before that just had our lunch and slack. we end up sleeping halfway on the couch at the waiting area. i guess we are really that tired.

head to little india to meet mum and dad while he headed home. had my dinner with mum,dad,uncle and aunt. as expected, i slept during the bus ride home. i wish i wasnt shooked up cause i was dreaming away. that tiny earthquake totally wreck the dream. pfft.

just a random wish,

Happy Christmas people.

define lazy. lazy means you are not energetic. lazy means you are slow. lazy means you are indolent and slothful. i am totally not embarrassed to admit that im all that. all i do is to sleep all day. new friend request kept coming in from friendster and myspace. all i do is to click accept and ignore them eventhough they kept commenting "hi,how are you?" and "what are you doing?" since i'm too lazy. i even end up blocking some of them in msn because i simply cant be bothered and too lazy. im sorry for this displeasing attitude. im just not up to anything. relationship seems to be a waste of time for me now. i dont really have time for all this. currently, i only have books in my mind.

i wanna go out with my old friends. especially this bitch, eklima. i miss her so much. it's been ages since we had our last date. people kept asking me "where's eek?" because last time we are always together. people only saw us, only us two always. and yeah, she booked me this wednesday. looking forward to it. <3

a big hurray to me cause i finally went out today. it was such a relieved. went to town with big and small sis. i had fun though despite it was only for awhile. went to fill each of our stomach and then just walk around taking pictures with fisheye2. the lightings there was wonderful. o.O

well, something happened. we ate at cahaya and sat on this table where usually customers dont. but since the place was packed the auntie let us sit there. i call it the doom table. somehow it cursed on us three. i was the first one. i accidentally hit my spoon and then rice and beef was flying all over. and then again, i hit my bandung and it fell. the whole thing spilled. i was pretty lucky not to get myself wet. the auntie there was too kind to give me another bandung for free. okay so, my big sis accidentally spilled her gravy onto her skirt and then my small sis ate this weird thing as she thought it was mushroom but it's not. gee.. really. the curse is too strong. we quickly ate our dishes and then head off. aha.

dont laugh at the story. it may sound childish. but it was really an embarrassment! pfft.

striking yellow slingbag for next year? what do you think? hah. never ever before bought those type of bags. that happy color attract my eyes like a magnet and immediately fall for it. since mum had already promised to buy me a new school bag, buying that lovely bag wasnt a problem at all.

raining cats and dogs totally destroyed my mood today. i was looking forward to finally go out. but when it pours, forget it. i end up rotting at home. as usual.
i would love to go out tomorrow. die die must go out. so yeap.
pray hard lala. =)

so my holidays are really getting too mundane and dull. i haven't been going out these few days. i've been spending times at home and rot since there is no one who wants to ask me out. okay, there is a few. but i rejected most of it since my butt is too lazy to get off from the bed. gees. so ya, it was practically my fault too.

perhaps you might have this question "what you do at home sia?" popped out into your mind. well,lately i've been browsing through people's online shopping blog to find something nice and cheap for myself during the wee hours. i could last till 6 am in the morning okay just to survey all those stuffs. currently, i got one and im collecting it from the seller tomorrow afternoon. :D apart from that, i've been sleeping from 6am to 6 pm almost everyday. shut that "siak,siol,wth" and save it. haha. dont mind me, im like that. easy said,i live in the night, dead in the day. understood?

i wanna get myself a schoolbag. i wanna have a new sec4 look. so that all those newbies in sec1 will be somehow be afraid and respect me. hahaha. dream on. but who knows. rumours has it, i have the fierce cum arrogant face. wth.

first you carry a baby and then push a trolly back home. damn. i really felt like a maid just now. with my unappropriate dressing. i was sure to be mistaken for a maid seh. i've learnt my lesson. okay enough. i've been spending my last few days with khairulanwar. and i miss him already. dad went back just now. fetch him from harborfront and take limousine cab home. the service was great. they even had a small tv inisde. and we watch Evan Almighty inside.

you know what, i actually didnt know what to update actually.
oh ya! i had a crush on this cleaner at banquet at harborfront. he is so adorable. he have charming smile. but damn, he's a cleaner. and yeah. mum had been asking about firdaus whereabouts. you made me miss him,mum.

kak nana's wedding today was great i guess.kak nana really look stunning today. like never before see her like that. i met my not-supposed-to-be-crushed-but-it-is-still-my-crush. he seriously look so adorable when he smile and 'wow' when he did the silat for the newlyweds. apart from that,i had fun taking pictures with my siblings using sis's fisheye2. and also,carrying darwish around.

couple for the day. haha!

i had my dinner with khairulanwar. i had fun spending time with him. i just love seeing him smile.

he look so adorable right?!

how about this. you went out as early as 3.30 am in the morning to meet someone. head off to cityhall by cab. eat at macdonalds for breakfast. slack. and then to coffeeshop behind peninsula shopping centre for morning teabreak. and then to somerset to slack at starbucks. and then head home by 12 in the afternoon. and it was actually a date. what do you think? amazing? crazy? stupid? haha. this stupidly sweetest guy,khairulanwar, sanggup to spent time with me early in the morning. sanggup to spend almost 40 bucks on cab. sanggup anything la.

let me tell you the story behind him. from what he told me, and i do believe it, he had been searching for me for 1 year just to get to know my name and myself more. he had been eyeing on me since last year but he had so much trouble just to get to know my name what more myself. perhaps it's the sweetest thing to hear, you see. like 'atlast', he found me. he looked so happy when we met just now. not as in he was jumping around like monkeys. but the way he stood there, smiling, blushing and kept quiet defines it all. i could clearly see that he was really nervous somehow. how adorable! haha.

i like today's date. it seems weird somehow cause who in the world date people at 3.30 am in the morning to 12 pm in the afternoon??? haha. i bet he love it. okay yes, he do. by all those smses he sent to me a few minutes ago. haha.

stupidly sweetest guy

okay, one thing i wanna talk about is that about my current life right now. people have been contacting me. and i have been talking to different people. i hate it. but i hate to be called arrogant. i could fucking call myself a swinger right now. girl being a swinger? geee...fuck myself for that. perhaps i could start being arrogant right now. should i?
i want my boyfriend back. atleast i could only contact with him. atleast my life is peaceful. atleast i could only love one person and thats him. but dream on nabilla, he wouldnt come back. he never will.

cousins wedding tomorrow. looking forward to it.

i ended up late. sorry zozi. he was with his classmate,syak. but then, syak went home early. so zozi and i went to marina square to have our dinner. and then straighaway to jurongpoint since he need to buy this scratch2 thingy for Timah, his new girlfriend. she is soo adorable. but im scared of her. haha. we then head to this new neighbourhood that had just opened a few weeks ago. it's nice, i guess.
we talked. we joked. we ate orange sweet. we chill. it was fun i guess. i miss him so much since its been almost a year since i last met him. haha.
evagmihaeybdoogssikecnisehstnawtioshcum.haha
he gave me his notebook. forced me to draw something in it. and now im still figuring out what to draw. my mind is blank. im not creative and artsy. damnit. i hate it when it comes to drawing stuff. i dont have any talent! -_-

i rot at home the whole day today. spent times with my siblings. laugh with them. joke with them. its fun. at least it keeps me from thinking unnecessarry stuffs. football match between singapore and thailand had caused me to loose my voice. i spent time shouting in anger while watching the match. i were so angry with the young lions. haha. [step pro only sia me]
and again, someone confessed his feelings towards me. im just speechless and had no idea what to do. im sorry.

yay, i got plans for tomorrow or rather today. meeting nazreen[nazozi]. he asked me to accompany him to funan to search for laptop bags and then just chill. it would be pleasant to meet him since it's been ages since i last met him. just fear that he would cancel tomorrow's meeting cause he is used to be called 'buwey king'. haha
so mr ex, dont buwey tomorrow..

perhaps now is the time for colleagues to go to work and students to go to school. but here i am busy blogging although i'd updated it already. oh well.
i'm missing alot of people right now.EEK, FATIN, FARAH, MG CREW, VIVA, DEE, APISZ, NABIL, HAZY,RAYMOND, JACKY and unexpectedly that guy, Iamhollywood. i wanna meet them. i wanna laugh with them. take billions of pictures. Damnit.

hangover

my saturday and sunday were somehow the coffee-outlet-lepaking day. Saturday, i sat at SPINELLI with wantoi and friends. and then yesterday, met this crappy guy who want himself to be recognised as jack[the picture on the right]. went to Skafest but it ended early. so headed to STARBUCKS and chill around with his friends. bla bla bla. went to his workplace, COFFEE CLUB, and sat there for awhile to enjoy the free halzenut cake and rambutan ice blended i think. aha. we both planned to not to head home early. therefore, i came out with the idea of drinking. he agreed. we drank bacardi and glenns vodka. i cant really recall what happen in between. but he told me i was really drunk. HAH. i felt good though since it's been some time since i drank my last alchohol. so yeah. went to clementi after that to chill around with his friends. and then head home.

my bad, i miss you jacky. haha

the sally's performance were great. i only went to skafest yesterday. it was happening, i guess.
thanks to hamdan, i was not being pushed around by those big bullies inside the moshpit. he protected me all the way. i really thank him for that. then last night, ton with the SKs and their friends. they're all busy designing am and an's skimboard. hah. went home early this morning and straight away to bed and woke up at 6.
then off to cityhall to me wantoi and adek. i miss adek alot. never see him for ages till i dont know alot of things that is actually going on. pfft.
okay then go home.

this is truely a boring post. but thanks to those readers who actually read it and wasted 2 minutes of their precious time.
haha. =)

perhaps i could start opening up my books already. since i got nothing better to do at home other than sleeping all day. true enough?

to my readers, you guys do realised right that i kept changing blogskins? aha. dont mind, but i was so bored and end up editing stuff here and there to cover up my boredom.
okay, i gotta admit i got nothing much to type here. my holidays are killing me. really. but at the same time, not looking forward to school either. Os seems so near although its like around 11 months away. okay scary.

i miss muhammad firdaus bin sulaiman. i still need you,dear.

wow, i just viewed his profile. and to my surprise, he is now contacting other girls. how amazing is that? i thought he did not have time for all this already, but that just prove everything wrong. i thought he would change for the better. but no,again im wrong. its up to him really. but i cant deny that i felt a pinch of jealousy looking at his profile and those comments by girls. okay enough.

how boring could my holidays get? i really cant stand it. but nevermind, at least im doing something to cover up my boredom. shuffling! totally macam paham, i know. but then, im somehow into the dancing mood or groovy. i wanna dance! and shuffle! and then i could become the next SQ. HAHA.

like finally for once i actually spent my weekends at home. astonishing, i could say. cause a person like me certainly wouldnt want to stick their bottom at home doing nothing except for spending time infront of the large screen with a remote and biscuits beside you and then you'll be clicking on the remote,changing channels non-stop since you couldnt find anything that interest you. its obvious that i dont have much to say since there is nothing really happening this weekend. only that i regretted not turning up for yesterday's gig at BB. i missed my old friends alot. perhaps that day was the only day that we were so called re-united for once. but i had to cancel it cause my dad just came back home yesterday. ironically, curfew starts again.

i came across to this book among my school books inside the 'book box'. the book which i thought i lost it. it was our book. flip through the pages and those posts almost made burst into tears. but i held it. its worthless crying for you, i remind myself that countless times. i miss you again. *roll eyes* no worries, i bet this feeling wont last long. i think.

all i know, i had fun capturing moments with flash and 2 second delay with my siblings this saturday night. instead of wondering around at town or cityhall with my laughing gases.
i'm content.